hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
