The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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