My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
