My sheets look like a crime scene.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize