im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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