Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
