I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
