i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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