We're facebook friends in real life
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
