Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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