if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
