Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
