wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I love having hate sex.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
