I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
