OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
