K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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