I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
