I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
