Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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