..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
