girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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