I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize