my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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