we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
