An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize