and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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