dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
