so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
