Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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