Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
