It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize