Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Less talking, more tequila
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
