he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
