yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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