I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
