You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize