tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
