NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
