Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The best revenge is premature balding
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
