I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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