Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
