Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
