Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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