White coat. Heels.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
