my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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