She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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