why do cheetos always look like penises
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
