you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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