in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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