He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dick very happy bro
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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