Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Send help, water and tortillas.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
