Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
