3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Alive.
So much puke
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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