her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
