I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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