haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
