This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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