i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
