Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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