Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
