Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
