You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
