Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
