i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
home. puking in laundry basket.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
