She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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