i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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