I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
