Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
