it was like eating out sand paper
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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