I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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