I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
