What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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