I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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