don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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