I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize