Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
