brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
