she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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